Let Me

I wrote this poem because I was tired of not being the shoulder that he would cry on. He was mines…so why couldn’t I be his?

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Let Me

Let me love you, let me in.
Let me show you the
Capacity of my heart.
Let me show you
Just why I am here.
Let me love you, let me in.
Let me endure your
Hurt, your pain.
Let me bandage your wounds.
Allow me to ease it away.
Don’t deny me and turn your back.
That dark room
That you are so accustomed to
No longer has space for you.
But, here, in my arms.
In my space…this is your home.
Just let me
Help you.
Let me carry your burdens,
Your sins.
Let me softly kiss those
Evil spirits away.
I’m equipped. I’m ready.
But you’re so scared and uneasy.
But sweetheart don’t you see?
I can be your Eve minus that
Fruit on the tree.
I can be your rib.
Your backbone.
Your everything.
I can be that drug that flows through your veins.
That drink before the last call.
I can be the ecstasy that has you trembling for more.
I can be your late night taxi driver
Who you confess your soul to.
I can be that pastor in church
Who dares not judge you.
I can be the butter in your grits
Or even salt and pepper, if that’s your shit.
Baby, I can be all these things and more.
This stumbling road you don’t have to travel alone.
Just let me….please.
Let me in, let me love you.

Jeanine Nicole

Donate and Help to Get “The College Tour” Play Produced

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Looking to give back to the community and help to generate more African American presence in the arts? Donate to “The College Tour” Play at

http://www.gofundme.com/ctfdgs. Any donation will go to helping produce a play based on the book “The College Tour” written by Jeanine

Nicole. The play will be about the importance of not judging a book by its’ cover as these students get ready to embark on an important time in

their lives. Volunteers for the play will also be needed so please email at adaydreamproduction@yahoo.com for further details.

No Air

heartbreak

Have you ever had someone take your breath away?
I mean really, take it away.
Just a look and you’re breathless.
At, first you are able to handle it.
But the closer they come, the harder it is.
His lips on mines,
Air leaves me.
Lungs collapse under
The thought of this love.
This love that is lost.
Over his dishonesty.
Air slowly comes back.
But then
His nose nudging mines.
The air leaves again.
Thoughts of hurt tremble away as your hand runs over my thigh.
Tears begin to fall as your lips connect with mine.
I can no longer breathe.
His love is suffocating me.
The thought of us has me trapped.
So many emotions flow through me.
I’m unable to move even though I need to.
I can’t stay here, in this space.
I’m no longer yours.
I don’t belong here.
But even with the air gone
I feel so alive.
Light headed…unclear thinking. Adrenaline pumping.
I’m here.
No air.
But living…in the moment of you.

Photo credits: http://www.sassydspirits.com

How To Face A Break Up Via Social Media

So, it’s happened. The unthinkable. That beautiful, funny, perfect relationship you were just tweeting about last weekend is over. Oh no! What now?? How do you save face when you just posted a million kissy face pictures with you and your ex boo? I mean, now you have to go and hang your head and let the world now that you have failed again and love don’t live here anymore. But, you don’t want to look like a fool. Here are a few tips to help you successfully survive a break up via social media. FYI, I should have taken my own advice this week…but eh.

1. Step Away From the Meme’s!

Okay, I know how you feel. You are ready to let the world know that you are a good woman and you can hold your man down and you saw the perfect meme for it, but…no. Just no. First, you have to ease your way into letting everyone know you are single again. Bombarding your IG with hateful, yet witty memes may seem like the best way to go, but trust me you will end up looking a little crazy. Also, it will be a bit of an overload. Could you imagine seeing this on your TL?

bitter_o_913120 Funniest_Memes_not-sure-if-sad-about-break-up-or_19367 images images (2) definitely-one-of-the-most-rewarding-things-about-being-divorced-and-happily-single-again-29575

Yeah, psycho! Lol

2. Only One Post is Needed.

You don’t have to constantly talk about your current break up. The less, the better. This saves you on looking crazy and also not getting any backlash. You don’t want every status to be, “F#$% that! I don’t need a man. I got me! I been doing this since day one! You think I need you? Tuh”, “Looks like my weekends are free now! Who wants to take me somewhere? Y’all know I’m free right?”, “Every time I put myself out there, somebody screws me over. Love just isn’t meant for me.” Oh and my favorite, “F*&% this cheating ass bastard! Tell that b&#@# to pay that phone bill!” Lol sorry, that last one may have been a little bit too much of me. But, seriously, just one general post or even just a single…”*sits at the Singles Table* Welcome back” is pretty much all you need. Remember, he is probably following you and one simple comment on a crazy post will send you spiraling. Don’t give him or anyone else any ammunition.

3. Okay, You Aren’t THAT Busy Now

Last, I really hate to see people who did absolutely nothing, socially, before now become a socialite. Come on. Truthfully, you are just at home watching Netflix AND THAT’S OKAY! Acting like you are having lunch dates and dinner dates and after work dates and inbetween nap dates is just ridiculous. This is not making the other person miss you and it is making you look stupid. Just resume to your normal behavior. It’s just less one.

Now, as stated before, I should have followed my own advice. I mean, I didn’t go crazy, but I did do all of these things lol. Well, except the last one, because I really don’t have a life so I can’t even fake that. But I posted a few memes and I did a few posts, mostly sappy song lyrics, but luckily I didn’t get too extreme. The point is so many people say you should keep your relationships off of social media and it’s because of this very reason. You don’t want to look stupid once you’ve broken up. But reality is no one expects to break up. If you are in something that is good and makes you happy, you want to share it with the world. And when you are in pain and hurt, you want to show that as well. But, with this situation, less is the better way to go. A simple relationship status change is all that is needed. All the other stuff is just extra and unnecessary. You don’t want the whole world in your business. Remove your pictures, unfollow, and move on gracefully. This will be unentertaining and catch no one’s eye. Social media is all about the show. The smoke and fire. If you don’t give them anything, they will pass you by and go to the next crazy person posting about their ex.

Getting Back

Here we go again. I know what you’re gonna say. Oh, she must be back because she’s not happy anymore and that’s the only time she writes. WELP! You guys know me well. But it wasn’t intentional. I didn’t quit writing all together, but I did neglect the blog. But, hey what was I going to write about? The joys of being in a relationship. Uh, I don’t do sappy posts lol. But, yes, I am back. And yes, it’s what you think it is. Moving on. This is just a free post. I miss writing on here. I miss having emotions that aren’t involving someone else. I miss being me! Does this mean I am destined to be here for the rest of my life? Ehh. It is what it is. If it means losing a passion then I will take being alone. I am an emotional writer. My best work comes from pain. I can’t be one of those happy writers and I believe this is what God is showing me. He showed me I could be happy, but it means losing a lot and I am not willing to lose any of it. It’s not worth me deteriorating while others are flourishing. Like I have always said, love is not for everyone. It is what it is. BUT….let’s discuss the happiness I do have because I have started a new book! “Taken, But Single” is basically about two women who are in relationships where to the outside world they are in relationships, but mentally and emotionally they are alone. They are basically in “show” relationships and those are no fun. Believe me. Anyways…I can’t wait to share it with you guys and I can’t wait to get back on here and be the funny, nonchalant, cold hearted chick that you have all grown to love. :)

Dreamers Exclusive, Online Magazine

magazine

 

I’ve always wanted to have my work published in magazines. That joy of seeing your work in a publication is like no other. But after a day of frustration and Googling, I finally realized something. Idiot! You have a production company! And thus, “Dreamers Exclusive,” was born. I’ve always had slight control issues anyways so me conforming to other editor’s guidelines would have been a huge issue for me. With this magazine I am able to do what I love, write, and do what I love even more, edit. I am able to be hands on and actually create everything from scratch. I am the one emailing writers and illustrators and getting their feedback. I am the one that is editing the magazine and formatting the material. I am the one that is going on every forum enlisting new talent. I am the one doing it all! And God knows I love it. I normally try to keep my blog and my business separate but I realized that I have a lot of followers and fellow amazing writers on WordPress so why not spread the word! This online magazine will come out monthly and with each issue there will be a different topic that is expressed through writing, poetry, and illustrations. We will even have a “Young Dreamers” section to showcase the talents of our younger artists. The point of the magazine is to continue to support writers and illustrators. We can be so easily forgotten in the world of technology but, to me, the creative mind is the most powerful thing around. It is up to each of us to continue to do our part to inspire and support. With that being said if you or if you know anyone who is interested in being a part of our online magazine, email us at adaydreamproduction@yahoo.com for more details. Our first issue, which is due to be published in May, will be about fantasy. Now, back to your regularly scheduled program :).

 

Why I Won’t Be Going to My High School Reunion

So, it’s finally that time. The moment has come. 10 years, yes I know 10, of being out of high school and it is reunion time. Before, I was the hyped one about this event. I couldn’t wait to get everyone together and reminisce about the good ole days and chat about upcoming ventures. Before, I was the one that was trying to convince my friends on going because it would be so much fun. That was before and this is now. Now, I won’t be going to my high school reunion.

Don’t get me wrong. I admire a lot of my classmates and I know the type of fun that we can have together, but mentally, I know this is not the right move for me. Recently I have caught myself resorting back to that 12 year old shy girl with low self esteem who tried to do any and everything to please people around her. That girl that would shrink whenever in a crowded room out of fear of judgment. That girl that would overly compliment other friends just so they could maybe throw a compliment my way as well. This is the girl I have worked so hard to get rid of, but I see her coming back. Whether it is a conversation between co-workers or a comment on Twitter, that 12 year old girl is coming back and I am not going to allow it. High School was a fun time for me. Nothing too crazy, but still fun. I had my table of friends, a guy I was crazy about, and pretty much no worries. But when I really think about it, I was always on the outside looking in. Never really a part of anything…just kind of around. I’ve noticed that more as I have become older because friendships have disintegrated out of thin air. Like, literally, people who I have been friends with for years have just disappeared, and like that 12 year old girl, I’ve blamed myself. Maybe I didn’t compliment them enough? Maybe I didn’t support them enough? Maybe I let too much of my personality outshine theirs? But seriously, why should any of that be a reason if I wasn’t so easily dispensable? I mean, I don’t get a lot of support but I’m still around. I don’t get many compliments and yet I still remain friends. But it is this thought process that is keeping me far from this event. This thought process is childish. Dumb. But, unfortunately, I’ve been placed there. Going back to that reunion is like going right back to high school. Going right back to that lunch room table. Going right back to that mindset. That is not where I want nor need to be.

My life is actually going well. For once. Yes, I’ve lost friends, but honestly, I am a 27 year old grown ass woman. Who cares who has left? Yes, I have memories and no, I really don’t know what caused any of this, but so what? It is what it is. My focus is not what I had 10 years ago, it’s what I will have 10 years from now. I’m no longer the shy girl trying to be seen. Hoping and wishing for that seat at the table; vying for a conversation or a laugh. I’m not her and I refuse to go back to her. So for those that are reading this that I did go to school with know that this is nothing against you. This is about me and my mental state. It’s time to let the past be the past and move on into the future. I can’t dwell on the “good ole days” because frankly, they weren’t all that. I can focus only on today and possibly tomorrow.