By now, if you’ve been following me for all these years, you should know that when it comes to relationships I have the absolute worst luck. Even with just sexual partners…(https://iamjeaninenicole.com/2013/07/31/the-list)…shit just goes downhill. As I have been able to sit back and think on the reasons why, the main one has always been how much I hate interacting with others. Like, I literally have to give myself a pep talk and a few shots, before I have to have conversations with people. I don’t care about your day…or care if you care about mine. I just want to be left alone when I want to be alone. With that being said, I wholeheartedly feel that I would prefer to be a baby mama vs. a wife. Continue reading
So I’ve noticed that the subject of casual sex has come up several times in my various conversations. As a good writer, I have tried to collect different opinions on the subject and have come to this conclusion. Most people have no idea how to have casual sex. Now when I say casual sex, this does not mean just picking someone up off the corner and taking them straight home. My definition of casual sex is basically sex with no type of emotions with the other person. Most people think you can’t have sex with someone unless you have feelings for that person. While that might be true for some, as for me , it’s not. I, personally, have no problem with having sex and displacing my feelings. I attribute this mainly to the horrible relationships I’ve been in and I am not trying to be in another relationship any time soon. Right now I am too focused on me and my career for a relationship, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have needs that need to be fulfilled. And, no, I can’t get down with those “toys.” I’ve never been a fan of them. And not having sex is not an option…I am an angry person when I am horny. LOL.
Now the only way casual sex will work is if both parties fully understand what is going on. You have to establish the fact that this is just sex and nothing else. The problem with most people is they expect this rule to change. They think that “just sex” will change into a loving relationship like it does in the movies. This is how feelings get hurt. More than likely if someone says they just want to have sex with you, then that’s that. Don’t get offended when they stand politely at the door waiting for you to leave. You already knew what the deal was. Another thing I think people do wrong with casual sex is their selection. If you know this person is someone that you can see yourself being with years down the line, then casual sex is not the way to go. I’m not saying pick the ugliest, lamest person but be smart. Don’t tell the guy that you’ve had a crush on since 7th grade that you can do the casual thing because trust me, it will not work!
Casual sex, once again, is not for everyone. You have to know where you are mentally when it comes to relationships and sex. If you know that you get too emotionally involved too fast, then don’t do it. If you know that you don’t want a man or a woman around for anything but that one thing, then there you go. But make sure you are smart and safe. Use communication so you aren’t breaking people’s hearts and use protection at all times.