A few weeks ago there was an interesting discussion on Twitter about men who only get their kids on the weekends. One guy argued that he was the best father in the world even though he only gets his son on the weekends. He then went on to say that he doesn’t think it is fair that his baby mama gets to collect child support and live off of him while he is in his child’s life. There were a few comments that were said back to him that got me to wondering. Why do “weekend dads” think they are God’s gift to their baby mama’s? Yes, we are grateful that you are spending time with your child, but please do not act like we should be running out to get you a “Number 1 dad” mug. Let me break it down so you can see why “weekend dads” are really the new term for deadbeats.
1. You only get them on the weekend. How does this make you an amazing parent? In my case, I have to work a fulltime job, come home and cook and clean, plus take my son to therapy every week. What do you do? You watch him run around and play for two days straight. Big whoop! If you are only involved in your kids lives Friday evening till Sunday morning, you are a deadbeat. There is no reason why you should not be participating in weekly activities or even calling to talk to your child. The guy on Twitter said that his baby mama only wanted him to see the kids on the weekend so she can go out and party with his child support. Now, I will get to the child support in my next point, but let’s address that first part. She is letting you keep the kids on the weekend so she can go out and party? Really? Did it ever occur to you that maybe she needs a break from her busy week of taking care of your child alone? Even if she is out partying, this is well deserved as seeing that Mon-Friday, you might as well not even have a child. You can come and go as you please, while she can’t even go to the grocery store without having to go through an ordeal. This is the one thing I hate that men do. They act like it is okay for them to go without responsibility all week, but when it comes to the weekend she’s a bad mom because she wants two days off. Get outta here.
2. Child support. This is the biggest pet peeve I have when it comes to taking care of a child and what men think. First, let me state that no woman, and I mean NO WOMAN, is living off of child support. Unless you are Kanye or Jay, those little child support payments do nothing for a woman in today’s society. I have two kids. I get a total of $130 for one and $350 for the other a month. That is a total of $480. My rent is $554, daycare is $140 a week, who is living off child support? Please! Men want to call us money hungry when we go through child support, but in actuality if you were doing what you were suppose to do, half of us would not even fool with child support. If I knew that I could call and say, “Hey, so and so needs some new uniform pants?” and I would get in return, “No problem,” then why would I file? But when you get BS every time your child needs something and you need help, you go with the only thing that you know will at least give you some type of assistance. Even though it is not enough. I once had my son’s father tell me that he would not help me with any of my bills because I choose to leave him. Those bills were my fault. Really? But your child is with me, full time. This is why child support was put in place. Now, I will say that some women use their child support for themselves and do nothing for the child. But this type of behavior is evident while you and the mother were dating. If you saw that she was no good while y’all were dating, please don’t act surprise when you see her in a new pair of Js and your child is rocking a pair of shoes too small. You knew she was a rat when you were dating. I’m just saying.
Now, before you go crazy, no, all weekend dads are not deadbeats. Some actually work hard and can only see their children on the weekends. But there is a big difference between not being able to see your children and not wanting to see your children. My biggest reason for writing this post was that single mothers d0 not get the credit that they deserve. Well, single parents, there are some excellent single fathers out there who fall into this category as well. We do not get the credit that we deserve. Instead, we have to stay strong and muster up whatever strength we have and take care of our children while the other party gets to sit around and do nothing, and then when the weekend comes, it’s their turn to do nothing again. When you deal with a child one on one for weeks on end, 24/7, then come and talk to me “weekend dads”. Right now, I just have no sympathy for you guys.